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It’s
Nothing Personal
By Jerri Phillips
A few
months ago Rob went to the doctor in
order to get a referral to his retinal
specialist. We had been in a battle for
months with our insurance over a simple
check up with the ophthalmologist. Our
previous doctor had written letters, sent
medical information, and so forth giving
detailed reasons why a mere optometrist
would not suffice for a checkup. Now, we
were asked to supply lists of
ophthalmologists who had refused to see
Rob due to the seriousness of his eye
condition. As Rob explained all this to a
new doctor, our new family doctor nodded
and took notes. When Rob had finished,
our doctor finished his notes and said,
“We’ll take care of all of that
for you. Now, let’s talk about your
blood pressure,” and he sat down on
the stool in front of Rob.
As it turned out, Rob’s blood
pressure was 154/106. For the layman,
that is significantly high. In fact, we
are getting into stroke concerns at that
point. Considering Rob is in his early
30’s, the concern was even greater.
“Any stress?” Not really.
“How’s your job?” I love
my job. “How’s the family?
How’s this, that, and the
other?” Great. Great. Great and
Great. “Okay. Here’s the deal.
You have three months to lose weight and
get the blood pressure down, or I will
put you on medicine to do it for
you.” Oh wow.
Not quite three months later, Rob has
lost nearly two inches off his waist. In
fact, he now has to wear a belt to keep
his pants up. His blood pressure was
checked last week. It was a glorious
127/77, which is wonderfully normal. I
think the doctor will be pleased when Rob
sees him next month.
When things like that happen, one of the
first things we begin to ask is the
question why. Why is someone as laidback
as Rob battling high blood pressure? He
is so young. He does things at church. He
is considerate of others. You know how we
humans are. We want to know why and what
makes someone deserve the bad things that
happen to him or her. We want negative
things to be justified.
Well, I can tell you as Rob’s wife
that the blood pressure was justified.
Rob was significantly overweight. God was
merciful by allowing him a situation that
forced him to get it under control and
affording him an opportunity to do just
that. It didn’t take a genius to
look at Rob’s eating habits and
lifestyle to realize why his blood
pressure was high. Rob was abusing his
body, and his body responded in kind. Not
hard to figure out.
However, I think there was more to it
than that. Let me tell you a little about
Rob’s weight loss. Prior to the
showdown in the doctor’s office, Rob
was drinking approximately two liters of
soda a day and eating quite a bit of junk
and had been for years. He does not care
for vegetables, and he didn’t eat
them. He was literally a meat and
potatoes man. He didn’t exercise. He
kept his biceps in shape by lifting the
remote to change the channel on the
television. (In case you are wondering,
yes, I have Rob’s permission to be
so honest. I am not belittling my
husband, and if you stick with me,
you’ll see the rest of the story.)
After he was made aware of the serious
nature of his health, Rob made some
drastic changes. First, he went cold
turkey on the caffeine-laden sodas. He
cut out candy and chips of all forms for
several weeks. When he began eating chips
again, he only ate the baked kinds, and
he would only eat half a snack bag of
those. He started eating a salad for
lunch and dinner. In fact, often his
whole lunch was a well-dressed salad.
Instead of a whole steak, he would eat no
more than a half and walk away from the
rest. As much as he loves cheese, he
would leave that off his potato and
barely add butter. Pizza was a thing of
the past as was ice cream. If we stopped
to get fast food for Anna or me, he would
skip it and come home to make a fat-free
sandwich. He was completely disciplined,
and the weight dropped off him.
Now, I find myself in a situation where I
need to lose significant weight as well.
While it isn’t a life-threatening
situation, it is serious. Personally, I
feel overwhelmed. I always do when it
comes to weight loss. However, I am able
to look across the table at my husband
who is enduring ice water instead of a
soda, which he really wants, and feel
encouraged. Rob’s success assures me
that I can be successful, too. When I
begin to wonder if passing by the
chocolate cheesecake is worth it, I
simply look at Rob who is now going to
need a whole new wardrobe of slacks and
know that there is hope for me, too.
When Rob found out about his blood
pressure, we did not realize that I was
also going to be in need of weight loss
for health issues, but the Lord God did.
He also knows that I need encouragement,
and He graciously gave it to me...in Rob.
It makes me believe that Rob’s blood
pressure was not just a manifestation of
physical issues but that it was also a
spiritual provision for my encouragement.
I already know some of you are thinking I
am reading too much into this. After all,
there were clear physical reasons for the
high blood pressure. I admitted that
myself, and to suggest that God ordained
that for the purpose of encouraging me to
lose weight is pushing it a little far.
Not according to the first chapter of 2
Corinthians. “Praise be to the God
and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the
Father of compassion and the God of all
comfort, who comforts us in all our
troubles, so that we can comfort those in
any trouble with the comfort we ourselves
have received from God (verses 3 and
4).”
In these verses, there are two key words
to look at, “comfort” and
“troubles”. In the Greek, the
word “comfort” is the word
paraklesis, which means “comfort,
consolation, exhortation, intreaty.”
The word “troubles” in Greek is
the word thlipsis, which translates,
“afflicted (-tion), anguish,
burdened, persecution, tribulation,
trouble.”
So, how does this apply to Rob and
subsequently apply to me? First, was Rob
in trouble? If you look at the definition
of thlipsis, I think the risk of stroke
falls into at least one of those
categories, don’t you? Therefore, I
think it is safe to say Rob was in
trouble. Next, did God comfort him?
According to Webster, comfort is “a
feeling of relief or encouragement.”
Granted, anyone could argue that there
were no booming voices over our house to
encourage Rob, but let me say as one who
has gone cold turkey on the caffeine that
to not have a brain-splitting headache
when you suddenly quit feeding your
addiction is nothing less than an act of
God. I’ve known lots of people who
have suddenly gone without caffeine, and
all of us can testify to the headache.
Rob didn’t have one, not even an
annoying thud, little less a throb. I
believe that was God’s comfort.
Also, one can argue that Rob is simply
very self-disciplined, and he is to a
great extent, but for him to pass up
desserts, cheesecakes, sweets of all
sorts, and other such delicious foods is
questionably mere self-determination.
Again, I believe it was the enabling of
the Holy Spirit that allowed Rob to be so
self-disciplined.
Having said that, I believe there is
evidence that the Lord comforted Rob in
his time of trouble, and according to
verse four, the comfort is not to stop
there. Rob has two options at this point.
He can be full of himself and take on a
spirit of pride, or he can humble himself
and acknowledge from whence cometh his
strength. In the first case, he will only
build a barrier that creates a mentality
of condescension and judgment toward
those who struggle with weight loss.
However, the second allows the Lord to
soften Rob’s heart to those who need
an encouraging word and exhortation as
they struggle to avoid the foods they
crave. According to the passage we just
read, God intends for Rob to take on the
heart of ministry and to share the
comfort he received.
As Rob’s Heavenly Father, the Lord
desired to bless Rob, but the Lord does
not intend for Rob to keep the blessing
to himself. As children of the King, we
are merely vessels, a pipeline if you
will, that are used to glorify God
through praise and worship. One of the
ways we praise and worship is to walk in
the image of God, acting as He would,
sharing what He has given us. Jesus said,
“You have received freely, so you
should give freely as well (Matthew
10:7-8).”
Right now, we know a precious couple that
is battling cancer. Our pastor’s
wife has had two mastectomies, and in the
past few months, another lump was found.
It seemed to be general consensus that
the lump was scar tissue or the
body’s reaction to the second
mastectomy. Needless to say, we were
stunned to hear the word cancer again.
Thankfully, the doctor was able to remove
the cancerous cells through surgery, but
now Pastor and Roxanne are facing
treatment to prevent cancer from further
invading her body.
I have to confess that this seems utterly
unfair to me, and the Lord and I have had
lengthy discussions about this. I have
prayed for healing. I have fasted, and I
am most assuredly only one of many.
Still, the news at the oncologist’s
concerning another round of chemo and
radiation last week was another unwelcome
blow.
I came home, sat in my chair in my study,
and asked, “Why?” I found my
answer in 2 Corinthians. Here is the
passage through verse eleven.
“3 Praise be to the God and Father
of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of
compassion and the God of all comfort, 4
who comforts us in all our troubles, so
that we can comfort those in any trouble
with the comfort we ourselves have
received from God. 5 For just as the
sufferings of Christ flow over into our
lives, so also through Christ our comfort
overflows. 6 If we are distressed, it is
for your comfort and salvation; if we are
comforted, it is for your comfort, which
produces in you patient endurance of the
same sufferings we suffer. 7 And our hope
for you is firm, because we know that
just as you share in our sufferings, so
also you share in our comfort. 8 We do
not want you to be uninformed, brothers,
about the hardships we suffered in the
province of Asia. We were under great
pressure, far beyond our ability to
endure, so that we despaired even of
life. 9 Indeed, in our hearts we felt the
sentence of death. But this happened that
we might not rely on ourselves but on
God, who raises the dead. 10 He has
delivered us from such a deadly peril,
and he will deliver us. On him we have
set our hope that he will continue to
deliver us, 11 as you help us by your
prayers. Then many will give thanks on
our behalf for the gracious favor granted
us in answer to the prayers of
many.”
The answer to my question lies in verse
six. “If we are distressed, it is
for your comfort and salvation; if we are
comforted, it is for your comfort, which
produces in you patient endurance of the
same sufferings we suffer.” Have you
noticed that the cause of trials tends to
fall into two categories? Either, the
trial is an attack from the Enemy, or it
is the punishment of sin from the Father.
According to this scripture, sometimes we
suffer for the sole purpose of comforting
and encouraging others through the same
trial we have endured. Think about it for
a moment. If you are traveling through
the Amazon, do you want an experienced
guide who has hiked the trails and is
familiar with the dangers, or do you want
someone from Boston who has never even
been to the zoo leading you? I personally
want the one with experience.
I can assure you that both personally and
corporately, Roxanne’s friends and
family have waged war over her enough
that anything spiritual should have been
defeated by now, which would lead one to
wonder about judgment and punishment.
However, verse six plainly states that we
would be mistaken to assume Pastor and
Roxanne are being punished for some
hidden sins. It does not imply they are
“getting their just desserts”.
Instead, from this verse, we are left to
think perhaps their trials are nothing
personal at all, but rather, they are
being used as vessels in a painful
ministry because there are others who
deeply need the comfort that this couple
will pour into their lives.
When I am struggling in a given area of
my life, I want someone who is familiar
with the trials. I want to know how they
made it through. Theory is useless to me.
I want hands-on experience that gives me
the direction and encouragement I need to
keep me going. Unfortunately, someone has
to go through that trial first in order
to get the experience.
As for Pastor and Roxanne, I cannot
express the impact they have on people in
our church as well as those outside our
church. There would not be enough time or
words to give a personal account of how
they have impacted the lives of my own
family. They have endured more hardships
than any couple should have to endure.
Besides the cancer, there was lupus,
which nearly killed Pastor. In a hunting
accident, the gun backfired and destroyed
one of his eyes. In both of these
instances, the Lord healed him
miraculously, but there are more trials
that I won’t list. One can look at
their lives and wonder why they have had
to walk through such intense fires, and
the only answer I have to offer is they
are vessels. God is allowing their
suffering so that the comfort He gives
them can pour into other lives.
There are numerous people who look at
this precious couple and find
encouragement from seeing the
faithfulness of God in their lives, and
even the cynics who wonder how a loving
God could inflict His children with so
many problems can find encouragement in
the words of this couple and in their
actions. Humbly, Pastor and Roxanne
neither covet others’ health, nor do
they withhold an encouraging word from
those in need. Instead of hardening their
hearts through pride of past victories or
bitterness from present trials, Pastor
and Roxanne have chosen to soften their
hearts, and thereby, they have become
clear vessels of comfort from the Father
to others who are in need of comfort.
I realize I don’t know what you are
facing. I do not know the depth of the
pain you may be enduring right now. I
know that Paul states that his group felt
that death might be imminent, and still,
he did not complain about how undeserved
it was. Instead, he saw it as a means to
comfort and minister to others who were
also suffering. Instead of seeing himself
as a pawn in God’ s sadistic game,
he viewed himself as a vessel to be used
by the Master in whatever manner that
meant. I will be the first to admit, I am
not that mature. I still don’t like
suffering, and I don’t like for the
ones I know to suffer either. However,
trials and sufferings come, and with them
come three choices. We can become bitter,
declare the unfairness of it all, and
close our hearts. In the same vein, we
can take the credit for our victory and
become puffed up waiting for our fellow
sufferers to pull themselves up by their
bootstraps like we did. Finally, we can
view the trials as a means of ministry
and seek the Lord’s comfort as we
freely give out comfort and encouragement
we receive to others. To accomplish the
latter, we have to see through God’s
eyes and realize we are merely vessels
being used by the Father for great and
mighty purposes, and it really isn’t
anything personal.
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