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My Cup Runneth Over with Clabbered Milk
By Jerri Phillips

We had one of those incredibly insane weekends. Rob got home from work about 2:30 Saturday morning after working over sixteen hours. We had to be up at 7:00 that morning because we were meeting friends an hour away for breakfast. Then we had a few errands to run that resulted in a 911 call (We are all fine. Praise the Lord.). By the time we got home, we were tired, so we all laid down for a nap. Around 6:00, Anna announced that she wasn’t feeling well. Right after that statement, the vomiting began and lasted all night. Rob thinks he counted at least eight nearly full loads of laundry from about 7:00 pm Saturday night until 8:00 am Sunday morning. Robert was also sick, but we didn’t know it until the next morning when I went to get him from his crib, and he was messy along with all of his bedding. By the time noon came, we had missed church, and both children were ready to snooze awhile. The parents were, too; Rob was especially tired. As the afternoon wore on, the babies were obviously feeling better; the couch was stacked high with clean sheets, blankets, and towels, and we realized that we had been ignoring the kitchen, which was stacked high in dishes. In fact, there were no clean sippy cups for the children, who were now incredibly thirsty.

We began the task of excavating the sink, and I was glad Rob was the primary
dishologist. Some of those sippy cups were from Friday morning, and boy, were they nasty. Anna loves chocolate milk, actually milk of any flavor. Knowing how good it is for her, we indulge this taste, which is great and fine, until we find a sippy cup with milk that has been hiding under the sofa or at the bottom of the sink for a few days. Again, I say…nasty.

Of course, you only have two choices. You can either toss the cup, which gets expensive and isn’t sensible, or you wash it out. If you have never had the task of cleaning a milk clabbered cup, let me explain a little. This is one of those not so pleasant ironies in life. When you open a sippy cup with clabbered milk, it looks utterly disgusting, and it doesn’t smell too great either. When you dump the milk or run water in it to get the milk out, the stench is stomach churning. Truly, it is wise to have a clothespin for your nose close.

The thing is if we don’t clean the cups, the children can’t get anything to drink. I certainly am not going to put something new in that cup with the milk still in it. I have to tell you. I hate old milk in cups. It is one of those things that I will intentionally sit it aside until I know Rob is going to do dishes. Not very godly, but at least I’m not tossing my cookies, you know? So instead of cleaning the really nasty cups, sometimes I’ll just wash the not-so-nasty cups, like the ones that have water in them or orange juice, which isn’t a whole lot better if it is old. But you get the point. It is a lot easier and far more desirable to clean the cups that are less offensive.

However, we all know that eventually, the cups have to be washed if they are ever going to be used again. Whether I can pawn them off on Rob or I find a clothespin, they still have to be cleaned. It is simply impossible to use a cup that has clabbered milk in it, and besides, if I continue to ignore it, the stench only gets worse and worse until it begins to affect the whole kitchen. The cup simply has to be cleaned if it is to be useful and non-offensive.

Of course, we all think that is the most obvious thing we have ever read, right? Well, it is. So why do so many of us seem shocked that we have stinking spiritual lives when we have cups of clabbered milk sitting around?

Over the weekend, I was talking to a very precious friend of mine, and she and I were being transparent about struggles we are in right now. Presently, I am dealing with some very old clabbered milk that happens to revolve around emotional wounds I received as a child. The obvious solution is for me to spend a lot of intensive time in prayer and the Word allowing the Father’s presence and the Spirit to minister to me and heal those wounds. Instead, I go shopping.

To be honest, I don’t really enjoy shopping. I know that sounds strange coming from a woman’s mouth, but it is true. I really just don’t enjoy it, but you know what? I want to feel better because right now. I hurt. There seems to be an underlying level of misery all the time, and I hate it. No matter how joyful I am, no matter how much I worship, there is this misery that never seems to lessen, little less stop. So, my fleshly coping mechanism is shopping.

My friend could relate. She is involved in a relationship that isn’t ideal. The man is nice enough, and he has some wonderful qualities, but by my friend’s own admission, it is not a good relationship for either of them. Their visions for the future are different. Their likes and so on are different. Simply put, there is already a chasm of difference, and the prognosis is that is would only increase. So what is the point of this relationship? As my friend frankly put it, “I’d rather have a substitute for love than to feel unloved altogether.” I know what you mean, my friend.

I’d rather have something than nothing. I think a lot of us fall into that category. Unfortunately, our coping mechanism becomes our master, and we are enslaved to the pain and emptiness of which we are trying to rid ourselves.

Psalm 81:1-14 states the situation very clearly. “1 Sing for joy to God our strength; shout aloud to the God of Jacob! 2 Begin the music, strike the tambourine, play the melodious harp and lyre. 3 Sound the ram's horn at the New Moon, and when the moon is full, on the day of our Feast; 4 this is a decree for Israel, an ordinance of the God of Jacob. 5 He established it as a statute for Joseph when he went out against Egypt, where we heard a language we did not understand. 6 He says, "I removed the burden from their shoulders; their hands were set free from the basket. 7 In your distress you called and I rescued you, I answered you out of a thundercloud; I tested you at the waters of Meribah. Selah 8 "Hear, O my people, and I will warn you-- if you would but listen to me, O Israel! 9 You shall have no foreign god among you; you shall not bow down to an alien god. 10 I am the LORD your
God, who brought you up out of Egypt. Open wide your mouth and I will fill it. 11 "But my people would not listen to me; Israel would not submit to me. 12 So I gave them over to their stubborn hearts to follow their own devices. 13 "If my people would but listen to me, if Israel would follow my ways, 14 how quickly would I subdue their enemies and turn my hand against their foes!”

In this passage, God is talking to Israel, His chosen people. As Christians, we are His chosen people, so this applies to us. If you will stick with me, I want to do some “updating” of this passage so it applies to our lives.

In verse 6, we are told that God removed the burden from Israel’s shoulders. If we look back a little, we’ll see that He has been talking about the Israelites’ deliverance from Egypt. The burden He has removed is the burden of slavery. As Christians, we have experienced the removal of the burden of sin. Christ made atonement on the cross (Hebrews 2:17), and we are justified in the Father’s eyes (Roman 3:28). Just as the Israelites called to the Lord during their slavery, we called to Him in our sin, and He heard and delivered us (verse 7).

So far, all is good. Egypt is behind, and Canaan is ahead. We’re ready for the milk and honey. We are dancing and shouting as we watch the Egyptians going under for the last time, and we can already taste the milk and honey. In updated terms, we are totally in awe of the reality that God loves us and would send His Son to die for us. We are overcome with love and a desire to serve Him. We want it all, everything God has to give, and we are ready to give all we have to get it. And then there is a problem. We have a slight interruption in the euphoria. We come face to face with Meribah.

In Exodus 17, the Israelites are moving across the desert to the Promised Land. They have already complained about not having meat, and the Lord provided (chapter 16). They now face a new problem, or inconvenience. There is no water to drink. Once again, they grumble against Moses and Aaron. Moses once again takes it to God, and once again, God answers. He tells Moses what to do, and sure enough, water comes for the entire community. No problem. Except that there is, and it has nothing to do with water.

The problem is these Israelites have a problem with their memories. Up to this point, the Lord had done the following:

1. The plagues on Egypt that led to the Israelites’ release (Exodus 7-10).
2. The Passover, which protected the Israelites from the loss of their
firstborn sons (Exodus 12).
3. The splitting of the Red Sea, which allowed the Israelites to pass safely
but swallowed the Egyptian armies (Exodus 11-12).
4. Provision of water at Marah (Exodus 15).
5. Provision of manna and quail (Exodus 16).

It was obvious that the Lord was in control of the situation. Time after time He had proven His ability to meet their needs and protect them. And yet, they repeatedly questioned His love, His abilities, and His willingness. Over and over, this “Chosen People” questioned the very character of God by accusing Him of intending harm for them and their families. Are we any different?

The Lord has saved us. He has delivered us from the burden of sin and the consequence of eternal damnation. If He can deliver you from the weight of every sin you commit, surely He can deliver you from your foes of heartache and loneliness. Surely if He has the ability to defeat the grave (Romans 6:9), He can defeat the sense of rejection you have felt due to someone in your life conveying that you were unwanted or unaccepted. So, why aren’t we seeing it happen? Let’s keep reading.

If we continue down Psalm 88, we find verse 8 is the Lord trying to get our attention. This is a Father calling His children in urgent efforts to warn them of impending danger. We are on the precipices of disaster, and this is our Father calling us from the edge. In verse 9 the Father tells us what the danger is. “Have no foreign god, and do not bow down to an alien god.”

In my house, we don’t have icons like Buddha or any other “god” thing. Anna thinks the Babylonians were lacking in brainpower when they bowed down to a statue made of rocks or wood. Every time we read that story she laughs and laughs at them. We just don’t have that stuff. However, I have shopping. No, I don’t bow down at the doors to the mall. I don’t pray to Wal-Mart, but in my attempt to feel better, it has become a god. (Whoa, that is hard to admit.) Quite simply, a god is not just something you place on an altar or dance around. A god is anything you use to meet your needs.

For me, shopping is used to make me feel better, and you know, it doesn’t work at all. For my friend, this man is there to fill her need for love, and that doesn’t work either. I know people who make their job their gods, using money as their means to security. We keep looking to our self-appointed gods and wondering why we continue to be so miserable.

We are miserable because we are keeping our nasty clabbered milk being glad that our cups aren’t empty. You know what God says about that? Look at verse 10. “I am the Lord your God, who delivered, saved, redeemed, and loves you. I will give you nourishment. I will give you all you need, if you will let. You have to open up your mouth for me to fill it. It is your choice whether you open up or continue to be in need and want (my updated version, not to be disrespectful, but to put it in words that apply clearly to personal needs).” Sadly, too frequently, we are described in verse 11, which says that we will neither listen to God, nor will we submit to Him. The word “submit” is ‘abah (I cannot figure out how to do Hebrew with this program. Please forgive the crudeness of this replication of the word.), which means, “to be willing, desirous, consent, obey.” In other words, the Lord is offering to fill us with every good thing, and we do not desire Him enough to walk away from our foreign gods.

So, what happens? He allows us to follow our own way (verse 12). The Lord is a gentleman. He never forces Himself upon us. Instead, He allows us the choice of Him or less. How sad that so often we choose less.

Now, if you are like me, you may be feeling pretty low right now. Maybe the Lord has shown you some gods that you have set up in your life. If that is the case, take courage, my friend, because the chapter isn’t done yet! Look at verses 13 and 14 and see the opportunity for change. "If my people would but listen to me, if Israel would follow my ways, 14 how quickly would I subdue their enemies and turn my hand against their foes!” It isn’t too late! If we confess our sin and repent, the Lord will hear us, and He will come against whatever has us enslaved. We all have enemies and foes. For me, it is emotional hurt from key people in my life. For one friend of mine, it is the rejection of a husband who left with no explanation and took everything of worth, including my friend’s self-esteem, with him. For another friend, the enemy is a false sense of pride that alienates him from people around him. I could go on and on, but the reality is we all have foes and enemies to our peace, to our joy, to our very spirits. Only God can deliver us from them.

As I shared earlier, I am experiencing a lot of hurt right now. My friend is feeling a lack of love. We have both set up foreign gods to meet those needs, but you know what the Bible says? The Bible says that we will never find the things our hearts and spirits desire anywhere but God. “22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. (Galatians 5:22-23).” If you analyze my actions and desires, I’m shopping for joy and peace. I won’t find it at the mall. My friend longs for love. It won’t be found in a glass of wine by candlelight. So many of us desire to be faithful to God, to be better people. Faithfulness is found nowhere else. If you want to become faithful, you have to allow the Spirit to work in you, and it isn’t possible for Him to work in you when you are cluttered and filled with clabbered milk.

Now, don’t misunderstand. I am not implying it is your job, or even within your abilities, to open the container, empty it, and clean it yourself. If we are honest with ourselves, we are attempting to accomplish just that when we set up these other gods. It won’t work. God is the only One who can do that, but we have to be willing to let Him do it. We cannot hold on to our containers and keep them shut tight in order to avoid the sludge and stench. If we do that, the stench will only escape into other areas of our lives. In other words, it’ll begin to stink all over.

So how does this come about? Very good question. One I have asked many, many times. First, it sounds cliché, but realize and admit you have a problem. One typical Sunday afternoon, Rob was watching football, and I sat down on the sofa by him to enjoy some time with him. Also as is typical, Rob is a chronic channel changer. However, we couldn’t find the remote. We looked and looked. No remote. Rob endured the two minutes or so of commercials, and continued watching the game. However, at the next break, he became a man on a mission. That remote had to be in that room, and he was going to find it. I watched as he scoured the place. He looked in the living room, the favorite depository of the children when they confiscate things from around the house. No remote. Again, the game came back on, and we watched. At the break, I went to get a soda and some munchies, and Rob found the remote…right where I had been sitting. I would have gladly given him the remote had I known it was in my possession, but I couldn’t give what I didn’t know I had.

You may not realize you have clabbered areas. You may just realize that things stink. Ask the Father to show you areas that are problems, and instead of fighting it or defending yourself, admit it. God isn’t accusing you or berating you. He’s just trying to point out where you need healing.

Second, don’t panic at Meribah. God has not left you. He is no less powerful. Trust Him to be faithful even when you don’t see the solution.

Third, ask the Lord to identify the false gods for you, and then you have to toss them out. When the Israelites came out of Egypt, God took them out of bondage. However, they ended up dancing around a golden calf (Exodus 32). In Egypt, cows were worshipped as gods. The Israelites decided it was easier to go with what they knew and was comfortable instead of pressing on and waiting for the Lord to accomplish His purpose.

Next, spend a lot of time in prayer and in the Word. The Spirit is our Counselor, and He will lead us into truth (John 16). The truth will set you free (John 8:32). Spend time in the Presence of God.

Also, allow others close to you. I know this is hard, especially if you are experiencing the fear of rejection. This is incredibly hard for me. In fact, it is the hardest thing for me, but I have been blessed with a few people with whom I can be completely transparent. I know they will love me no matter what. That is a great gift they give me, and I offer it back to them. I rejoice in their breakthroughs and weep in their grief, and they do the same for me. We pray together. The Bible says to share our burdens with our brothers and sisters (Galatians 6:2). (I will interject here that I do not think it wise that men and women pray together for personal issues. I think a wise boundary should be set up. While I do not mind asking some of our male friends for prayer when we are ill or seeking wisdom, I do not share my deepest heart with them. That can create too many temptations and areas for Satan to manipulate the situation.) Where two or more are gathered in Jesus’ name, we can ask anything of Him, and He will answer (Matthew 18:19). There is great power in the unity of the body. Do not allow fear to prevent you from receiving the benefit of this power.

And lastly, do not allow the passage of time to discourage you. Remember that the Israelites faced many Meribahs before they got to Canaan, and the Lord delivered them each time. He never broke a sweat. The Israelites were the ones who got worked up into a tizzy. They became panicky and worried. Imagine how much peace they would have had if they had just said, “You know, He got us through the last one and the one before that and the one before that. I have every reason to think He will get us through this, too.” Know that God is still as able to defeat the foe of depression as He is to nail your sin to a cross. He is faithful and able.

So, the next time you smell a stench and realize that the Lord in His mercy is pointing out a container of clabbered milk, seek the Spirit to empower you to give it up willingly, and don’t worry that the Lord is going to dump out the old clumpy stinking stuff. Your cup may be empty for a brief time, but don’t worry. The Lord has every intention of filling it up, and all those around you will be blessed when it runneth over.